A trait not exclusive to women, some of us find it extremely difficult to do anything without an entourage. Going to the grocery store, a coffee shop, or (this may be too hard to imagine) a concert — all of these things can be not only more efficient but also more fulfilling alone.
Alanna Kalb, author of Stuff Every Woman Should Know, gives some sage advice on the merits of doing what you love by yourself every once in a while. So you want to go see the Great White reunion show and all of your friends are still too scared to go because of the terrible pyrotechnics malfunction back in 2003? Go by yourself and have fun! But be careful. -TK
How to Be Alone - by Alanna Kalb
There’s a ridiculous stigma attached to doing things alone. Please, don’t buy into it. Imagine being able to focus on yourself, your thoughts and what you want. Like yoga, except without the painful stretching.
1. The only way to get comfortable being alone is by doing it. Start small by going to a café. Getting something in a to-go cup doesn’t count.
2. If you feel silly eating alone at a restaurant, bring a book or magazine. While you’re worrying that everyone is staring at the woman sitting by herself, they’re thinking how cool and confident you are-precisely for sitting by yourself (or else they didn’t even notice). Eventually you might enjoy it without the book; sit with your back to the wall so you can people-watch. Just don’t spend the entire meal on the phone (aside from being rude, it defeats the purpose).
3. Going to a movie alone may sound awkward, but think about it: everybody is in a dark room, staring straight ahead and not talking. Buy a ticket (your pick!), get junk food (no sharing!), find a seat (anywhere you want!). Enjoy the fact that you have popcorn left after the previews because you’re the only one scarfing it down.
4. Traveling alone can be an intimidating prospect, but imagine being able to do exactly what you want. Going somewhere new is an opportunity to expand your horizons and reflect on your life, and that can be hard to do with other people around. Keep a journal, take pictures, and enjoy being able to follow a train of thought without interruptions. Being alone also means you might strike up conversations with people you’d normally be distracted from talking to. Tour guides will appreciate your interest and are likely to show you the real gems, off the itinerary. Waiters will be happy to recommend food, wine, or a salsa club with the best mojitos in town.
5. As with anything else, you’ll succeed if you’re confident (for a little help with faking it, see page 48 of Stuff Every Woman Should Know). Remember, you’re alone because you want to be, not because you have to be!
