How to Develop Your Own Alternative Sexual Activity
A week doesn’t pass without some new kink or fetish popping up on the Internet - so there’s no reason you can’t invent your own.
1) Brainstorm things or activities that you find exciting or intimidating.
2) List all the aspects of that activity, including the actions and special items involved.
3) Imagine how you might incorporate one aspect of the activity into sex play. For instance, if you like to play golf, imagine how you could incorporate golf equipment, such as balls, tees, and gloves, or in what places on a golf course, such as a sand trap, you could have sex.
4) If something intimidates you, think of how you could take an aspect of it and use it as an instrument of pleasure during sex play. For instance, if you’re unnerved by home repair, employ items such as a tool belt or have your partner dress as a carpenter.
5) Try working more aspects of the person or activity into your sex play or using sexualized variations of them.
6) If it’s not turning you on, try something else.
Troubleshooting
Alternative sexual activities can lead to a host of unusual problems. Always use common sense and don’t hesitate to contact medical personnel in an emergency. Here are some tips for treating a variety of lesser problems.
Overheating: People dressed in warm costumes or clothing (such as a latex dress or a giant plush panda suit) can easily overheat during the rigors of intercourse or other sexual activities. If your partner experiences dizziness, flushing, or profuse sweating, immediately remove the clothing or costume that is causing the overheating. If you cannot pull it off in the normal way and overheating continues, use scissors to gently cut your partner out of the item, being careful not to cause injury in the process. Open a window to circulate fresh air. Guide your partner into a cool bath or shower and encourage the consumption of cool water.
Skin Marking and Cutting: Paddling, spanking, whipping, and scratching can sometimes break and/or mark the skin. If the skin has been broken, apply an antibiotic ointment to prevent infection. To help fade marks, gently massage lotion into the affected areas and treat with cold compresses.
Nausea: Food play, bondage, and other activities can lead to the sense that you are about to vomit. Remove the item or stop the activity causing the nausea immediately. Get some fresh air. Try eating crackers. Suck on a lemon wedge or squeeze lemon into ice water and drink. Ginger ale and other sodas can also bring relief. If the nausea continues, it could mean you are suffering from a more serious problem. Seek medical help immediately.
Getting Lost: Lovers engaged in nyctophilia can become disoriented in near-total darkness. It’s easy to get lost while returning from the bathroom or searching for an accessory in a closet. Use your voice to locate your partner, then move slowly toward the voice. Avoid long strides that might cause you to trip or step on something fragile. As you get close, ask your partner to extend his or her hands. Reach out and use the sense of touch to guide yourself to a safe location next to your partner.
Cramps: Bondage or other unfamiliar activities can cause muscular discomfort or cramps. If a position is causing pain, change it immediately (use your safe word if you require assistance). Massage the affected muscle and submerge it in warm water to relieve cramps.
Panic Attack: Any new sexual activities can be intimidating, and it’s not uncommon for men and women to experience panic attacks. These are best described as a sudden onset of intense fear and anxiety; physical symptoms include trembling, faintness, cramping, nausea, and/or difficulty breathing. Victims may feel they are suffering a heart attack or other serious medical crisis. Immediately halt the activity. Turn on the lights and assure your partner that the activity has stopped. Encourage your partner to breathe deeply. Talk calmly and slowly. Offer a glass of water. Try massaging your partner’s neck and shoulders (or cease all physical contact if he or she recoils from your touch). Seek medical advice even if the attack passes quickly so that you can learn the underlying causes and ways to prevent future panic attacks.
