“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
–Chief Brody, Jaws
Just when you thought it was safe to turn on the television…..
Yep, it’s Shark Week, folks, as our friends at the Discovery Channel will happily confirm. That means it’s time, once again, to simultaneously inspire fear in the hearts of swimmers and beachgoers everywhere while reassuring people that they’re more likely to be attacked at the mall than when swimming. (Aside: be sure to tune in next month for Mall Week on Oxygen).
For this week’s blog, since I’m back from a week of swimming in the shark infested waters of Cape Cod (and injury free, I might add-save a slew of mosquito bites. (BTW, here’s how to treat them.) I wanted to tackle the subject of sharks. Alas, we did that a couple of weeks ago.
So now what? Well, since my company, Quirk Books, has caused quite a stir lately by announcing the forthcoming publication of SENSE AND SENSIBILITY AND SEA MONSTERS, it seems only fitting to tackle the next most dangerous sea-dwelling game:
You guessed it, Giant Octopi.
HOW TO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS (page 29-31, WCS COMPLETE)
1. Pull away quickly.
In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of a small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pressure on the octopus’s arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step.
2. Do not go limp.
Octopi are naturally curious, and if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus’s web.
3. Continue to put pressure on the arms by attempting to swim away.
Octopi tire easily, and may decide to let you go rather than bring you in for a closer look.
4. Prevent the octopus’s arms from wrapping around your arms.
Initially, the octopus will secure itself to a rock or coral formation and reach out to grab you with just one or two arms. Once it has a firm grip around you, it will move you toward its “beak” (mouth) by transferring you to the next sucker up the arm. Do not allow the first two octopus arms to pin your own arms to your sides, or you will have little chance of fighting it off.
5. Peel the suckers from your body.
Start at the tip of each octopus arm and remove each successive sucker from your body, like peeling up a bath mat. Once you have loosened one of the octopus’s arms, give it a spear, raft, surfboard, or other object to latch on to. Work quickly before the suckers reattach to your body or the octopus’s other arms have a chance to grab you.
6. Detach the octopus from its anchor.
Using the sucker removal method described in step 5, separate the octopus from its anchor. Octopi prefer to be anchored to a fixed object, and may swim away once dislodged.
7. Turn somersaults in the water.
If you have detached the octopus from its mooring but are still being held, turn your body in circles in the water to irritate it into releasing you.
8. Swim toward the surface.
Octopi dislike air intensely, and will release you once they break the surface. Continue to peel the octopus’s suckers from your body as you swim.
Be Aware
- A giant Pacific octopus may be well over 100 pounds, with an arm span of 23 feet.
- Giant octopi are extremely strong, but do not constrict prey to kill: they tear victims with their sharp beaks.
Be careful out there! And visit worstcasescenarios.com for more content, downloadables, and fun stuff.
–David
