Once you decide to have sex, it’s of utmost importance that you have the STD talk: when you and your partner ask one another about the last time you were tested for the full range of sexually transmitted diseases. Talk about difficult conversations–but this one is absolutely necessary. Here are some suggestions for how it should go:
1. Like the exclusivity talk, the STD talk needs to take place when you’re fully clothed. This is a serious matter, and should be treated as one.
2. The best timing for the talk is far enough away from the actual act so as not to sully the mood. During dinner on the intended night is a good option.
3. To embolden yourself, consider that bringing up the topic means that you’d like to have sex with this person. That’s flattering and exciting.
4. Don’t hit this nail head-on at first. Bring it up indirectly. You might say, “I’m still a little woozy from giving blood the other day. Have you given blood recently?”
5. If they say yes-and if they happen to be carrying their Red Cross card, all the better-the AIDS part of the talk is over. But of course, there’s more to cover. Now that the talk has begun, come right out and ask, “Do you have a doctor’s note saying you’re free and clear of genital herpes?” Immediately after you ask, spear some mahi-mahi and shove a forkful in your mouth.
6. With you engaged in chewing, the other person has no choice but to fill the awkward silence either by declaring a flawless medical history or, alternately, confessing there’s something they need to tell you.
7. If their answer is, “Not sure,” request that they get tested ASAP if, like you, they’re interested in doing the deed.
