All through the date she continues to mention him. “My ex, Iggy, hated this restaurant”-followed by a smirk as if she’s somehow rebelling against him by coming here. Beware: This kind of behavior shows an unhealthy attachment to an ex. Perhaps she’s still trying to show him up and is simply using you as a pawn. If you make it back to her apartment, you might even see framed pictures of Iggy on her bookcase-or even worse, next to her bed. This date is a complete bust, so you might as well have fun playing therapist.
1. First, assess the situation. Get some basics-how long ago did she and Iggy break up? Are they still “friends”?
2. Then clue her in: “You know, Suzie, considering that you and Iggy parted ways more than six months ago, you should really be over him by now, or at least more over him than this.”
3. Tell her what she needs: “You need closure. Maybe you need to hear it from Iggy that it’s over for good.”
4. Be considerate and rescue the evenings of other poor fellows like yourself: “Whatever you do, don’t go out on any more dates until you’re over this guy.”
5. Now get out there and find someone who’s not hung up on an ex.
