The subway car pole is meant to assist at least four people, possibly five or six, in keeping their balance when the subway pitches past curves and corners. Under the best of circumstances, each subway rider is aware of, and practices, proper pole-position etiquette:
The pole’s original purpose is compromised when the rogue pole hugger boards. (Is it mere coincidence that you have only to swap the vowel in “hug” and it becomes “hog”?) The pole hog hugs the pole, whimsically swinging back and forth in half circles-sometimes completely around the pole. She’s usually with a group of friends who are giddy about something- going out on the town, a movie they just saw, etc. Use the following technique to claim your rightful position:
1. Walk right up to the pole and plant your hand on it.
2. The offender may be hugging her body to the entire length of the pole. If this is the case, say “excuse me,” to indicate that you intend to use the pole, too.
3. Once your hand is securely fastened around the pole, you’ll be able to safely maneuver yourself to a comfortable standing position a few inches from it, and she’ll be forced to de-hug.
