Irreference » How to Become a Crime-Fighter

Crime fighting isn’t a career one chooses lightly. In a different world, Bruce Wayne might have become a doctor and philanthropist like his father, Dr. Thomas Wayne. But while walking home from the movies with his parents one night down Gotham City’s “Crime Alley,” eight-year-old Bruce watched in horror as a mugger shot dead Thomas and his loving wife, Martha, for little more than a wallet and a string of pearls. As the gunman fled into the night, Bruce knelt beside the bodies of his mother and father and vowed to avenge their deaths. Thirteen years later, he would become Batman, Gotham City’s self-appointed defender of justice.
The lives of super heroes like the Dark Knight are forged in the crucible of tragedy. If you choose to embark on the path to super heroics, tread with caution. The days (and nights) of those in capes and cowls are never easy. And crossing over from civilian to costumed crime fighter involves much more than simply a will to battle evildoers.

Step 1: Make a solemn pledge to uphold the law.
Your oath will be the single defining reason you take up training to become a crime fighter. Let this mantra remind you of the gravity of your decision. At the graves of Thomas and Martha Wayne, Bruce Wayne vowed to wage an unceasing war on criminals so that no other innocent would suffer the pain he felt on losing his parents.

Step 2: Learn everything you can in every discipline, no matter how obscure.
Bruce spent more than a decade wandering the world, studying at nearly every major institution across the globe and gleaning the knowledge he needed to solve any crime. Essential subjects include:

- Forensics
- Criminology
- Law
- Forensic Accounting
- Chemistry
- Physics
- Geology
- History (especially the local background of your protectorate)
- Computer Science
- Foreign Languages (especially Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Russian, and Spanish)

Beyond the classroom, you should spend time with the men and women who fight criminals on a daily basis. Learn tracking skills from bounty hunters or private eyes. Detectives can teach you the procedural nature of police work. Cops may chase down crooks, but corrections officers know how to keep them locked up. Books can teach you the theories, but real people will show you how to put those ideas to the test.

Step 3: Train your body.
In addition to mastering many disciplines, your training should include running, swimming, and other exercises to build up endurance and stamina, along with weightlifting to increase your strength. Yoga or Pilates can improve cardiovascular conditioning (invaluable when you need to escape in a hurry) and also provide a meditative, nonviolent outlet for any frustrations you encounter while fighting crime. For aerial acrobatics, practice gymnastics and mountain climbing. BASE jumping and rappelling skills will prepare you to swoop down on criminals. Work on your hand-to-eye coordination as well so that you hit your target every single time, whether it’s with your fist or a Batarang.

Step 4: Train your instincts.
Knowing how to counter an attack or track and identify incriminating clues is all well and good, but to survive, you’ll need to make your physical skills and practical knowledge instinctual. You’ll need to act and react to cues without slowing down or stopping to ponder. Constantly practicing and applying your physical and mental skills will enable you to go from thought to deed faster than any criminal you meet on the mean streets.