People of Earth, Do Not Fear Us.
We have peaceful and fashionable intentions. We at the Venutian Ladies League have determined that cranial embellishment on your planet is unsatisfactory when compared with intergalactic standards. The VLL has come to share our technology so that your citizens may have a chance.
Our hearts, as you call them, ache at the thought that none of your kind has ever been accepted into the Ms. Carbon-Based Lifeform Pageant. We really think you could do it if your heads were properly adorned. And maybe if you took off your glasses. And made yourselves up a little. And got your eyebrows waxed. And didn’t slouch so much. Oh, never mind, we’ll never win that bet with the Ladies Guild of Pygmalion 3.
