Do you ever get the feeling that the fashion industry is making fun of us? That they think we’re a bunch of suckers who are mere slaves to their bizarre whims? That they assume when they say “crochet” we say “how ugly?”
This pattern is from the ’70s, but I’ve seen the signs that it could be rearing its hideous head again soon. Trust me when I tell you that at this very moment, this little gem is churning away in the giant retro machine, biding its time until it thinks we’re weak. And then, when we least expect it, some malnourished starlet is going to stagger up a red carpet in this very abomination. It’s time for us all to stand together and say, “No. Not this time.” We believed you when you told us leg warmers would make us look fit. We eagerly belted every sweater, vest, and shirt we could get our hands on. We fell for the bellbottoms. Twice. But this time, we will resist. We renounce the candy-colored patchwork skirt and its vaguely matching suspenders that are more likely to stretch and droop than they are to help hold up this wretched thing. We cast you back to the fiery pits from whence you came!
