With the release of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies just days away, we’re already inundated with suggestions for sequels. Most ideas follow the formula pioneered by P&P&Z: (1) Take a literary classic you were supposed to read in high school; (2) Add an inappropriate element (pirates, monkeys, cannibalism); (3) Slap a great title on the cover.
Of course, to ensure that Quirk does not run afoul of copyright laws, the literary classic has to be a book that was published in the United States before 1923. So Charles Dickens is fair game, but William Faulkner is not. This restriction makes many of these suggestions unpublishable, but the titles are so great we had to share them:
A Farewell to Arms and Legs
The Corpse of Monte Cristo
As I Lay Bleeding
Android Karenina
Portrait of a Werewolf as a Young Man
O Pioneers! And O My God, Zombies!
Maggie: A Ghoul of the Streets
The Brothers Karazombie
Uncle Tom’s Coffin
I Know Why the Caged Zombie Sings
Tender is the Night of the Living Dead
Lady Chatterley’s Braaaaaains
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Zombie Margaret
We want to hear your thoughts. Post your ideas below.
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March 17th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
The Zombies on the Floss, George Eliot
The History of Tom Jones, A Zombie, Henry Feilding
March 27th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
“The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy; Zombie Slayer”
“Romeo Eats Juliette”
“The Conquest Of Zombie Infested Gaul”
“Portrait of the Artist as a Young Zombie”
“Le Morte et Orior D’Arthur”
“Sir Gawain and the Rotting Green Knight”
“The Importance of Being Earnestly Devoted to Killing the Undead”
“The Tibetan Book of the Not Entirely Dead”
“Breakfast of Tiffany’s”
“People Fall Apart”
“Sarah; Plain and Tall and Hungry for Brains”
“Where the Red Fiend Grows”
“A Corpse Groans in Brooklyn”
“We the Unliving”
March 29th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
“Slaughtered and Spitted Animal Farm of Choice Meats”
March 31st, 2009 at 10:47 am
[...] likely that only stories published in the United States before 1923 will qualify. The publisher, Quirk Books, has mentioned some of their favorite fan-suggested titles on their website (publishing rights [...]
March 31st, 2009 at 11:43 am
If you will take it, I have a great idea for Middlemarch of the Damned.
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:26 am
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape! You don’t even have to change the title
April 3rd, 2009 at 12:35 am
Alice’s Adventures in Zombieland–Lewis Carrol
Zombie Island–Robert Lewis Stephenson
Call of the Zombie–Jack London ‘BBBBRRRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS’
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Some Shakespeare suggestions:
A Midsummer Night’s Massacre
The Merchant of Death
The Merry Brides of Frankenstein
Titus Andronicus
April 13th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Hey! Why limit yourself to mostly zombies, ghouls and androids when you can use a lot more. Try vampires, werewolves mermaids, creatures from Geek lengend whatever. I have a copy of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies and love the book. Please have some fun with this.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Actually, you might want to check a little closer into copyright laws. If this were a painting, it would likely fall under the heading of parody, which does not require permissions.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Abducted–Robert Lewis Stevenson (Kidnapped)
The Body Parts They Carried –Tim O’Brien
A Tale of Two Cemetaries–Charles Dickens
The Pickwick Obituaries–Charles Dickens
Body Snatcher in the Rye–J.D. Salinger
Haroun and the Sea of Bodies–Salman Rushdie
Brains for Algernon–Daneil Keyes
To Reanimate a Mockingbird-Harper Lee
A Day No Pigs Would Come Back to Life–Robert Peck
May 14th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Charlie and the Chocolate Mortuary - Roald Dahl
Cannibals of Narnia - CS Lewis
Connecticut Zombie in King Arthur’s Coart - Twain
Doctor Zhombago - Pasternak
Dublooners (Dubliners) - James Joyce
Our Mutual Undead - Dickens
Our Crypt - Thornton Wilder
Occurance at Owl Crypt - Ambrose Bierse
Crypt of the Ancient Mariner - Coleridge
Remains of the Undead - Ishiguro
Dead also rising - Hemmingway
Sense and Edibility - Austen (a cannibal twist)
May 18th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
Ok - lets try non zombies
Moby Dick - the Loch Ness Monster
Frankenstein’s monster at Wuthering heights
Aliens attack Mansfield Park
The Secret Coven (Mary Lennox discovers a walled up temple to Satan - human sacrifices heal Colin)
Little Vampires
The princess and the goblin (oh wait - that’s real)
Rebecca of Sunnydeath Farm
Betsy, Tacy and Mr. Hyde.
Five Children and the Blob
Far from the maddening sun
Hans Brinker’s silver skates of death
I could go on.
BTW-Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel - but this book is so funny (so far).
Any other books shouldn’t try to be too obviously funny - it would ruin the jokes.
May 21st, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Jane Eyre and Werewolves, It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
Great Expectations of Vampires.
May 21st, 2009 at 8:02 pm
Of Mice and Zombies
May 24th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Continuing with the Jane Austen theme: Emma The Demon Hunter; The Serial Killer of Northanger Abbey; Sense and Sensibility and Cannibals; Persuasions and Pirates; Withering Heights (about a flesh eating virus). I just hope you release something soon. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was HILARIOUS!
May 24th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Le Unmorte D’Arthur
Arabian Nights of the Living Dead
Heart of Zombies
Romeo and Zombiet
Hamlet the Undead Prince
The Taming of the Zombie
Dead Quixote - Zombie of La Mancha
Jude the Undead
Winnie the Zombie
A Passage To Hell
Raiser’s Edge
Just So Zombie Tales
Crime and Dismemberment
Undead Tom’s Cabin
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Zombie
The Undead Family Robinson
This is a really fun execution (ha!) of the genre, a legitimate modernization and parody, and I hope that the copyright laws do not get in the way of some further good laughs. I’ve certainly never enjoyed Jane Austen more!!
May 27th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
My Cousin Dinner
Jane Eyre (and the Undead in the Attic) 1984
A Clockwork Zombie -> Orange
The Zombie’s Guide to the Galaxy -> Hitchhiker’s
Zombie’s Game -> Ender’s
The Zombie’s Tale -> Handmaid’s
2001: An Undead Odyssey -> Space
Or some personal favorites:
Harry Potter and the Zombie’s Rocks, and the Chamber of Zombies, and the Prisoner of Zombiland, and the Goblet of the Undead, and the Order of the Zombie, and the Half-Blood Zombie, and the Undead Hallows.
As far as strictly high school material, we’re limited mostly to:
As I Die Reading
A Lesson Before Undying
The Un-Hobbit
The Great Zombie
The Lord of the Flies and Zombies
Zombie Farm
To Kill A Zombie
The Zombie in the Rye
The Tragedy of Othello, the Zombie of Venice
(”Haply for I am dead, And have not those soft parts of conversation, That fleshy mortals have; for I am declined Into decay…O curse of un-death, That we can call our wives ours And not their brains!”)
This is quite fun, actually.
June 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 am
The amazing adventures of cadaver and clay
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Where the Red Fern Eats People
Arms and the Mandible
Much Ado About Nosferatu
Finnegan’s Wakening: The Return
The Old Man and the Sea and Some Robots
Undeath in Venice
In Search of Lost Corpses
To the Lighthouse Which is Guarded By Vampires
June 22nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Id love for future books to continue on with Jane Austen novels.. i actually read pride and prejudice and it was simply hysterical reading this mutation of it~ theres no way im going to miss the next novel quirk classics publishes…and ill probably read the original before the altered
July 6th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Atlas Shrugged and His Head Fell Off
Brideshead Reanimated
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Undead
A Passage to Transylvania
The Dismember of the Wedding
A Moveable Feast of Braaains
July 6th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
what about ‘Northanger Abbery and Vampires’?? its a prime story for bloodsuckers. or ‘The Old Man and the Banshee’?
July 16th, 2009 at 7:11 am
How’s about Beowerewulf? I think it’d work out beautifully.
I’ll even write it for you. 
July 16th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
A Tale of Two Deaths ( A Tale of Two Cities)
The Prince and the Killer (The Prince and the Pauper)
Tom Sawwer ( Like a Tom SAWwer massacre)
The Lives Huckleberry Finnished ( The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)
The Lord of the Vampires (The Lord of the Flies)
The Bloody Letter (The Scarlet Letter)
Sonnets of Death (Sonnets)
To Kill Your Stalker (To Kill a Mockingbird)
July 19th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
well, they’re already going to make another Jane Austen work: it’s Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.
and perhaps: The Old Zombie and the Sea
July 20th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Even though the next book is out i got this title…
Alices Adventure in Zombieland and
Trough the Looking Dead
September 15th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I really would love to see a version of The Importance of Being Ernest. I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and didn’t know I could laugh my ass off and be equally grossed out at the same time. I am very much so looking forward to Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I would also like to say that I wish we could see a rewrite of The Great Gatsby and/or Catcher in the Rye. Those would be fabulous. If quirk classics could ever make Ernest Hemingway or Charles Dickens a page turner I would me in awe. Unfortunately I’m not very creative with clever alternative titles.
September 15th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
How to Kill a Mockingbird by Harpie Lee
September 19th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Gone With the Wendigo
The Three Monsterteers
Withering Heights
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Smothering Heights
I said it on Twitter. I figured I would put it here.
September 25th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I am going for other Jane Austen Novels, so here we go:
Emma the Werewolf (Emma)
Mansfield Park with Cannibals (Mansfield Park)
Vampire Abby (Northanger Abby)
Persuasion and Possesion (Persuasion)
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:34 am
The Three Muskateers of the Apocalypse. A swash-buckling tale of friendship and the end of days.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:38 am
The Jungle Book of The Dead. A lost man cub learns of the afterlife from his jungle friends.
October 14th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Wuthering Heights & Werewolves, Little Women & the Men from Mars, Undeath Be Not Proud, Tess of the Bermuda Triangle, The Hobbitten, Jane Eyre - The story of a telekentic governess, Are You There God, It’s Me, Frakenstein’s Monster….or how about tossing something unexpected into existing horror books….Dracula at Watership Downs….Dr. Jekel, Mr. Hyde, and Peter Pan….
October 17th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Thanks for this. Do you know of any other hints that are related to this at all?
November 9th, 2009 at 8:29 am
The Edible Woman — Margaret Atwood (why change it)
December 4th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
All the President’s Mentalists
All the King’s Mentalists
December 4th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Oliver Twisted (Get’s Committed)
Tale of Two Kitty’s (A Partially True Story of the Notorious Lion Attacks During the French Revolution)
Great Expectations (and Their Gruesome Fulfillment)
David Goldfield (How One Man with an Awful Midas Like Gift Stripped Mined Most of England’s Countryside)
December 19th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Peter Pain
Grated Expectations
Of Malice and Men
The Adventures of Huckleberry Fiend
The Adventures of Tom Buzzsaw-er
Twenty Thousand Leaks uder the Sea
Zombie Dick (Moby Dick… don’t be dirty)
The Wizard of Ooze
Robinson Crucified
January 13th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Don Juan de Cannibal
Mansonfield Park