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With the release of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies just days away, we’re already inundated with suggestions for sequels. Most ideas follow the formula pioneered by P&P&Z: (1) Take a literary classic you were supposed to read in high school; (2) Add an inappropriate element (pirates, monkeys, cannibalism); (3) Slap a great title on the cover.

Of course, to ensure that Quirk does not run afoul of copyright laws, the literary classic has to be a book that was published in the United States before 1923. So Charles Dickens is fair game, but William Faulkner is not. This restriction makes many of these suggestions unpublishable, but the titles are so great we had to share them:

A Farewell to Arms and Legs
The Corpse of Monte Cristo
As I Lay Bleeding
Android Karenina
Portrait of a Werewolf as a Young Man
O Pioneers! And O My God, Zombies!
Maggie: A Ghoul of the Streets
The Brothers Karazombie
Uncle Tom’s Coffin
I Know Why the Caged Zombie Sings
Tender is the Night of the Living Dead
Lady Chatterley’s Braaaaaains
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Zombie Margaret

We want to hear your thoughts.  Post your ideas below.

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41 Responses to ““A Farewell to Arms and Legs” — and Other Quirk Classics”

  1. Lyv Says:

    The Zombies on the Floss, George Eliot

    The History of Tom Jones, A Zombie, Henry Feilding

  2. Fred Says:

    “The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy; Zombie Slayer”
    “Romeo Eats Juliette”
    “The Conquest Of Zombie Infested Gaul”
    “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Zombie”
    “Le Morte et Orior D’Arthur”
    “Sir Gawain and the Rotting Green Knight”
    “The Importance of Being Earnestly Devoted to Killing the Undead”
    “The Tibetan Book of the Not Entirely Dead”
    “Breakfast of Tiffany’s”
    “People Fall Apart”
    “Sarah; Plain and Tall and Hungry for Brains”
    “Where the Red Fiend Grows”
    “A Corpse Groans in Brooklyn”
    “We the Unliving”

  3. Blanca Says:

    “Slaughtered and Spitted Animal Farm of Choice Meats”

  4. Zombie Classics by Quirk Books - PSFK.com Says:

    [...] likely that only stories published in the United States before 1923 will qualify. The publisher, Quirk Books, has mentioned some of their favorite fan-suggested titles on their website (publishing rights [...]

  5. Nick Zbu Says:

    If you will take it, I have a great idea for Middlemarch of the Damned.

  6. Ken Says:

    What’s Eating Gilbert Grape! You don’t even have to change the title

  7. Kristy Says:

    Alice’s Adventures in Zombieland–Lewis Carrol
    Zombie Island–Robert Lewis Stephenson
    Call of the Zombie–Jack London ‘BBBBRRRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS’

  8. Evangeline Says:

    Some Shakespeare suggestions:
    A Midsummer Night’s Massacre
    The Merchant of Death
    The Merry Brides of Frankenstein
    Titus Andronicus

  9. Ron Ambrose Says:

    Hey! Why limit yourself to mostly zombies, ghouls and androids when you can use a lot more. Try vampires, werewolves mermaids, creatures from Geek lengend whatever. I have a copy of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies and love the book. Please have some fun with this.

  10. Madame Says:

    Actually, you might want to check a little closer into copyright laws. If this were a painting, it would likely fall under the heading of parody, which does not require permissions.

  11. Missy Says:

    Abducted–Robert Lewis Stevenson (Kidnapped)
    The Body Parts They Carried –Tim O’Brien
    A Tale of Two Cemetaries–Charles Dickens
    The Pickwick Obituaries–Charles Dickens
    Body Snatcher in the Rye–J.D. Salinger
    Haroun and the Sea of Bodies–Salman Rushdie
    Brains for Algernon–Daneil Keyes
    To Reanimate a Mockingbird-Harper Lee
    A Day No Pigs Would Come Back to Life–Robert Peck

  12. Will Says:

    Charlie and the Chocolate Mortuary - Roald Dahl
    Cannibals of Narnia - CS Lewis
    Connecticut Zombie in King Arthur’s Coart - Twain
    Doctor Zhombago - Pasternak
    Dublooners (Dubliners) - James Joyce
    Our Mutual Undead - Dickens
    Our Crypt - Thornton Wilder
    Occurance at Owl Crypt - Ambrose Bierse
    Crypt of the Ancient Mariner - Coleridge
    Remains of the Undead - Ishiguro
    Dead also rising - Hemmingway
    Sense and Edibility - Austen (a cannibal twist)

  13. karen Says:

    Ok - lets try non zombies
    Moby Dick - the Loch Ness Monster
    Frankenstein’s monster at Wuthering heights
    Aliens attack Mansfield Park
    The Secret Coven (Mary Lennox discovers a walled up temple to Satan - human sacrifices heal Colin) ;)
    Little Vampires
    The princess and the goblin (oh wait - that’s real)
    Rebecca of Sunnydeath Farm
    Betsy, Tacy and Mr. Hyde.
    Five Children and the Blob
    Far from the maddening sun
    Hans Brinker’s silver skates of death

    I could go on. :)
    BTW-Pride and Prejudice is my favorite novel - but this book is so funny (so far).
    Any other books shouldn’t try to be too obviously funny - it would ruin the jokes.

  14. Kwill81 Says:

    Jane Eyre and Werewolves, It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.

    Great Expectations of Vampires.

  15. Calvin Says:

    Of Mice and Zombies

  16. Peach Says:

    Continuing with the Jane Austen theme: Emma The Demon Hunter; The Serial Killer of Northanger Abbey; Sense and Sensibility and Cannibals; Persuasions and Pirates; Withering Heights (about a flesh eating virus). I just hope you release something soon. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was HILARIOUS!

  17. David D Says:

    Le Unmorte D’Arthur
    Arabian Nights of the Living Dead
    Heart of Zombies
    Romeo and Zombiet
    Hamlet the Undead Prince
    The Taming of the Zombie
    Dead Quixote - Zombie of La Mancha
    Jude the Undead
    Winnie the Zombie
    A Passage To Hell
    Raiser’s Edge
    Just So Zombie Tales
    Crime and Dismemberment
    Undead Tom’s Cabin
    Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Zombie
    The Undead Family Robinson

    This is a really fun execution (ha!) of the genre, a legitimate modernization and parody, and I hope that the copyright laws do not get in the way of some further good laughs. I’ve certainly never enjoyed Jane Austen more!!

  18. Excited! Says:

    My Cousin Dinner
    Jane Eyre (and the Undead in the Attic) 1984
    A Clockwork Zombie -> Orange
    The Zombie’s Guide to the Galaxy -> Hitchhiker’s
    Zombie’s Game -> Ender’s
    The Zombie’s Tale -> Handmaid’s
    2001: An Undead Odyssey -> Space

    Or some personal favorites:

    Harry Potter and the Zombie’s Rocks, and the Chamber of Zombies, and the Prisoner of Zombiland, and the Goblet of the Undead, and the Order of the Zombie, and the Half-Blood Zombie, and the Undead Hallows.

    As far as strictly high school material, we’re limited mostly to:

    As I Die Reading
    A Lesson Before Undying
    The Un-Hobbit
    The Great Zombie
    The Lord of the Flies and Zombies
    Zombie Farm
    To Kill A Zombie
    The Zombie in the Rye
    The Tragedy of Othello, the Zombie of Venice

    (”Haply for I am dead, And have not those soft parts of conversation, That fleshy mortals have; for I am declined Into decay…O curse of un-death, That we can call our wives ours And not their brains!”)

    This is quite fun, actually. :)

  19. gramercyk35 Says:

    The amazing adventures of cadaver and clay

  20. doublenegative Says:

    Where the Red Fern Eats People
    Arms and the Mandible
    Much Ado About Nosferatu
    Finnegan’s Wakening: The Return
    The Old Man and the Sea and Some Robots
    Undeath in Venice
    In Search of Lost Corpses
    To the Lighthouse Which is Guarded By Vampires

  21. intricacy Says:

    Id love for future books to continue on with Jane Austen novels.. i actually read pride and prejudice and it was simply hysterical reading this mutation of it~ theres no way im going to miss the next novel quirk classics publishes…and ill probably read the original before the altered

  22. Shannan Says:

    Atlas Shrugged and His Head Fell Off
    Brideshead Reanimated
    The Unbearable Lightness of Being Undead
    A Passage to Transylvania
    The Dismember of the Wedding
    A Moveable Feast of Braaains

  23. Desiree' Espinosa Says:

    what about ‘Northanger Abbery and Vampires’?? its a prime story for bloodsuckers. or ‘The Old Man and the Banshee’?

  24. Laura Says:

    How’s about Beowerewulf? I think it’d work out beautifully. :D I’ll even write it for you. :D

  25. Kylie Says:

    A Tale of Two Deaths ( A Tale of Two Cities)
    The Prince and the Killer (The Prince and the Pauper)
    Tom Sawwer ( Like a Tom SAWwer massacre)
    The Lives Huckleberry Finnished ( The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn)
    The Lord of the Vampires (The Lord of the Flies)
    The Bloody Letter (The Scarlet Letter)
    Sonnets of Death (Sonnets)
    To Kill Your Stalker (To Kill a Mockingbird)

  26. Jaimee Says:

    well, they’re already going to make another Jane Austen work: it’s Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters.

    and perhaps: The Old Zombie and the Sea

  27. Amanda Says:

    Even though the next book is out i got this title…

    Alices Adventure in Zombieland and
    Trough the Looking Dead

  28. Kate Says:

    I really would love to see a version of The Importance of Being Ernest. I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and didn’t know I could laugh my ass off and be equally grossed out at the same time. I am very much so looking forward to Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I would also like to say that I wish we could see a rewrite of The Great Gatsby and/or Catcher in the Rye. Those would be fabulous. If quirk classics could ever make Ernest Hemingway or Charles Dickens a page turner I would me in awe. Unfortunately I’m not very creative with clever alternative titles.

  29. Judy Says:

    How to Kill a Mockingbird by Harpie Lee

  30. Ben Monroe Says:

    Gone With the Wendigo
    The Three Monsterteers
    Withering Heights

  31. Lynda Says:

    Smothering Heights

    I said it on Twitter. I figured I would put it here.

  32. Matt Says:

    I am going for other Jane Austen Novels, so here we go:

    Emma the Werewolf (Emma)

    Mansfield Park with Cannibals (Mansfield Park)

    Vampire Abby (Northanger Abby)

    Persuasion and Possesion (Persuasion)

  33. Mike Fracchia Says:

    The Three Muskateers of the Apocalypse. A swash-buckling tale of friendship and the end of days.

  34. Mike Fracchia Says:

    The Jungle Book of The Dead. A lost man cub learns of the afterlife from his jungle friends.

  35. FarmWife Says:

    Wuthering Heights & Werewolves, Little Women & the Men from Mars, Undeath Be Not Proud, Tess of the Bermuda Triangle, The Hobbitten, Jane Eyre - The story of a telekentic governess, Are You There God, It’s Me, Frakenstein’s Monster….or how about tossing something unexpected into existing horror books….Dracula at Watership Downs….Dr. Jekel, Mr. Hyde, and Peter Pan….

  36. Lance Boehme Says:

    Thanks for this. Do you know of any other hints that are related to this at all?

  37. Julie Rak Says:

    The Edible Woman — Margaret Atwood (why change it)

  38. Paul Pruitt Says:

    All the President’s Mentalists
    All the King’s Mentalists

  39. Paul Pruitt Says:

    Oliver Twisted (Get’s Committed)
    Tale of Two Kitty’s (A Partially True Story of the Notorious Lion Attacks During the French Revolution)
    Great Expectations (and Their Gruesome Fulfillment)
    David Goldfield (How One Man with an Awful Midas Like Gift Stripped Mined Most of England’s Countryside)

  40. Glen Says:

    Peter Pain
    Grated Expectations
    Of Malice and Men
    The Adventures of Huckleberry Fiend
    The Adventures of Tom Buzzsaw-er
    Twenty Thousand Leaks uder the Sea
    Zombie Dick (Moby Dick… don’t be dirty)
    The Wizard of Ooze
    Robinson Crucified

  41. jen Says:

    Don Juan de Cannibal
    Mansonfield Park

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